Category Archives: Dates

We are Done. Breaking up with Dating Apps.


Here is my resignation that some poor sucker who just received after asking me to spoon 18 hour ago:

Is this how dating is and I just need to accept that this is how dating is? Your tactics are weak. Your confidence is bold because you are texting messages to a stranger in a phone. It isn’t just you it is all men. I apologize that I am only sending this to you right now because, You seem like a nice guy and it is more than just you with this viewpoint. But seriously if I look over our conversation, why should I say yes to that? At least you are only asking to spoon, but why?! Why would I jump for joy that a guy wants to press his body against mine after 18 poorly exchanged messages over 7 months? I think I am officially done with app dating. This is a joke. I am sending in my resignation to you, a poor in expecting victim who just happens to be trying to move forward in dating, put himself out there with poor tactics and is receiving the back lash of some girl’s years of frustration with the way dating has become. Reevaluate your tactics. Seriously, best of luck out there. Hope you find what you’re looking for and you probably will.

I have been dating for almost 16 years now and let’s just face the facts it sucks. I have had what I thought to be an undwindling optimism and never ending hope. Blah blah blah… I still have that but not for app dating we are through. I am breaking up with app dating. 
In the future when people ask me about being single and they ask if I have tried an certain app or another my response will be yes and it is the worst.
I think I will split this post into segments and demonstrate how it is the worst. I might have some guest authors and ask them to share their experiences. (Reach out to me if you’d like to participate. Females and males welcome. Sucky dating isn’t one sexs fault.) Also, I will edit out the yoo-hoo’s face and name and share the screen shots of this exact experience and several others. Stay tuned in to see if I get a “bitter woman” or a stream of profanities response. Until next post, good day.

Tagged , ,

A Mormon Single Girl’s Guide to Surviving the Holidays

I know, I know, the holidays are over. But here is the truth, they just happened and I survived them. I should save this post and post it for next season. Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is wonderful; being 28 and single can be awkward.  Here is my favorite way it is explained:

“The situation of a Church member who is single can be illustrated by a simple analogy. Imagine that your favorite hobby is stargazing and you’ve just joined a stargazing club. You come to your first club activity eager to participate. It’s a cold night, but you’re not concerned: most of the club members are wearing club jackets, and you’ve been told you should be able to get one as well. But there is no jacket for you. You ask about it, and you are told to keep looking and that if you do your best, you will find a jacket when the time is right.

Meanwhile, you are getting pretty cold and a little worried. And you notice that most of the other club members are talking about how nice and warm their jackets are. In fact, throughout the evening the topic surfaces continually in various forms: how to wash and dry your jacket, how to add extra pockets, how to mend it, and so forth. Some of the club members notice you don’t have a jacket. “You really need a jacket for these activities,” they tell you. “Why don’t you have one yet?”” Source

I feel like the holiday season is times were I am asked about “my jacket” the most. So here are a few ways I deal with it:

1. Travel in packs

Whenever possible bring other single friends along to those company parties or a friendly get together.  Show those “Marrieds” that there are others like you out there and it isn’t that strange.

2. Practice what to say

If you have a sassy comeback ready when someone ask you why you are still single you’ll be ready. 2012 Season favorite: “How many superheroes do you know who are married?”

3. Don’t hire out a love interest

Life isn’t a Hallmark Christmas movie, don’t fake or lie, own your singledom.

4. Try to understand

For some odd reason people feel really comfortable talking about the weather and pointing out people’s marital status. If it isn’t comfortable for you to talk about, veer the conversation elsewhere.

5. When all else fails, asks for advice and tune it out

I pull this one out only when I am most irritated by the “Marrieds” blatantly offensive comments. I simply ask what do you think I should be doing different. Usually response starts with “Flirt……” and ends with who knows what, I tuned them out remember. (Okay, truth be told I usually do listen and try to apply what they say because as irritated as I am, you never know what you are going to learn.)

And lastly,  number six comes from a personal rule…..as long as your single never say no to a blind date. Blind dates always make for an interesting  story whether it is at your 50th wedding anniversary or as you relate the tale back to friends about the epic fail, blind dates make for an interesting life.

Hey girlsource

Caution: If you click on this source you could be lost for hours laughing and lusting like I was. I love Ryan, remember this post? I swear there was a “Hey girl, Looking for your jacket?” And I wanted to post that one but this one works too. I just kept looking couldn’t find it anywhere, but I didn’t mind searching.

Tagged , , ,

Adventures with my Dad!

I just got off the phone with my pops. We had a great conversation. Earlier today I sent him this text message:

” Happy Fathers day to the best dad I’ve ever had. I’ll call you when I am out of church.”

I am not sure how he felt about that text. He is the only dad I have ever had but he s the best I could have ever had. I think if I could have picked out all of the dad’s in the world I would never picked a better one than the one I ended up with.

In our short 24 minute conversation, (24 minutes is short for us, we clocked a good 3 hour call a few weeks ago, just for record)  we talked about :

  • Scout camp
  • My best friend’s boyfriend
  • Civic duties
  • My lack of love life
  • Hoarders
  • His day
  • Vietnam
  • My siblings
  • President Kimball
  • How he misses his kids being little and how it is hard to have adult children sometimes, but other times it is so nice.

He gets me.  My dad is the greatest dad and my dad is the strongest dad.

I hope he has a Happy Father’s Day!

 Along with all those other fathers out there. (Like: my big brother he is an awesome dad, my grandpa Rod who taught me math when I stayed over at his house, Grandpa Mar #98it’llbegreat!, my uncles blood and adopted, and last and greatest of all my Heavenly Father.)

Here is a short clip of me and my dad chasing after a hot air balloon. We have so much fun together.

Tagged , , , , ,

“Table for one, please.”

I am not afraid to be alone. In fact I enjoy doing things alone frequently. Should we list some of the things I have done alone.

  • Movies
  • Road trips
  • Theme parks
  • Snow storms
  • Shopping
  • Flights
  • etc. (I’ll stop bragging about how awesomely lonely I am.)

There is one thing that I haven’t done alone before.  It has always been my goal. And it is so simple and silly that I had never done it. I could have checked this off my bucket list years ago.

I did it this week.  I ate at a sit down restaurant alone. (You know I have done the fast food/take out thing alone for years, but sit down now that is quality well deserved selfishness.)”Table for one, please.”  Could be the best selfish words that you can utter. Eating alone is purely for you. Normally you are there for more than the feeding of your belly. Eating alone is just that. No waiting for someone else to pick what they want to eat. No, the server isn’t waiting for conversation to die down. It is about you. When you close your menu it is time to order, when you set your fork down it is time to go. (After paying, of course.)

I felt like a lonely princess.

It was breakfast and I was surrounded by other folks dining alone.  I ordered eggs with ham and hash browns. I got two delicious bran muffins. And best of all a cup of hot chocolate! (And when I say a cup, I mean two because I was a crazy lonely princess; who enjoyed my solo meal out a little too much!)

My challenge for you folks, my blog readers (whoever you are),  is to dine alone. If you truly love yourself show if take yourself out and try it.

Tagged , , , , ,

Real Classy

I just arrived home from a blind date. It ended like this, “Are you looking for your keys?” He asks, as I rummage in my purse “Yea, I have to pee.” Real classy broad. (I know.) It was relatively successful.

With Valentines day coming tomorrow, I feel that I have seen more folks rushing into love. So many engagements, weddings and relationships changes. I think it is all great stuff but I not sure that a holiday should make us rush anything along.

Like this date tonight, not sure it would have happened without Single-Awareness day, lurking around the corner. Last night, I went to a party where there were hundreds of singles hoping to mingle before the big day.

I struggle at these kind of functions. I feel like I have to force myself to talk to people, to look like I am trying. I kept giving up. It was a small apartment and there were so many people. Several times in the night I curled up in one of the many corners and crossed my arms and legs in hopes that my body language would scare them away from me.

Please, I am not anti-social nor do I think I have crowds of people that were begging to talk to me. But there were moments where I had to just give up a little bit. Other times, I was all over socializing. I met and talked with more guys than the last two months combined. That was nice.

Oh, but how long did the party go on. I made a goal to just make it across the room, pushing myself through the hormones and pathetic attempts of flirting, just to get to the other side. (Like a chicken.)

Also, I took the little hearts, the party throwers provide as name tags, and wrote messages on them. My friends and I placed them on the backs of unsuspecting victims as we passed by them. I think my favorite was “Maybe Tonight”, Arrested Development fans might understand that cousin joke. One said “I am bringing sexy back” and I am not sure who that ended up on. But who wouldn’t want to go home from a long party, flirting attempts were made, numbers were never exchanged, yet someone somewhere thought sexy was brought back by little old me. (and a little J.T.)
I was able to start some conversations because of my obvious immaturity.

Once again, it was relatively successful.
Real Classy.

None the less, Happy Valentines Day! Just in case I am the only one who tells you today, I hope it is as awesome as you are.
Well, I do.

Tagged , , , , ,

First Date Pro.

I ran into a friend in the hallway. He asked me about my dating life.

“I responded that I am a first-date-pro.  I am perfectly wonderful at the first dates. I am great at keeping up the conversation with someone I don’t know. I play the get to know you game really well. I smile, I giggle, I answer, and ask the right questions. At the end of the date, when he says we sould do this again sometime, I say yes. ”

He listened. Thinking and processing it through.  He responded, “I think the real evidence of how great a first dater you are really is, how are you at the second date?”

“Oh, I suck at getting second dates.”

Tagged , , , , ,

Just Friends?

Recently, I saw an YouTube video on men and women being just friends. It was made my a local university. I wonder if there was a selection process on who they picked to interview, I think there had to be. I wonder if  there was editing?  Either way, I think it is really cleaver and important for us to go over today.

Can men and women be just friends? Ask yourself this. Media has been using this theme to create humorous films with similar plot lines.

With films like:

  • Just Friends
  •   Friends with Benefits
  •  No Strings Attached

friendship/relationship line is questioned.

Friendship with the opposite sex is portrayed to be impossible, especially with an ounce of attraction.

Personal experience tells me differently yet, I once had a guy friend, that told me that it was impossible for guys to be friends with a girl that he was not interested in. I questioned the validity of this to be 100% accurate and he stated that if he is not interested in her, he is interested in one of her friends.

If life were a movie this would have been when he would have confessed his love for me, I would have told him that it was too late and he was already in the friend zone.  Yet, somehow he’d prove his love and just when it was almost too late,  I would realize that I loved him all along.

Life is not a movie.

In real life, I was shocked.  This seems to be a concept that is harder for the female mind to wrap their mind around.

To this day I believe that it is possible for females and males to be friend with out anything more.

Just watch this clip though and tell me what you think because it seems to prove me wrong.

Tagged , , , , ,

A single’s guide to happiness

Here is some good ideas for the single folks out there, like me. This weekend I could have used this when everyone was asking me about my lack of love life. A nice blog for all my single peps…

The Roadside Diary

Movies, TV shows, songs, plays, even commercials are all selling love. Actually, “selling” is kind of a soft word, it’s more like they’re pushing it on us. They’re like drug pushers – they’re love pushers! And while I’m more the cheesy action fan myself, I’ve seen enough romantic comedies to understand why so many people believe that romantic love makes the world go ’round.

From Jerry Maguire’s “you had me at hello”, to Johnny’s “nobody puts Baby in the corner”, and Mr. Darcy’s “you’ve bewitched me body and soul” (yes, I’m aware this line would be really creepy if said in this century)… you get the point. We’ve been conditioned to believe that life and true happiness starts when your prince charming walks (or gallops) into your life. According to Hollywood, love equals happiness. And I’m not here to refute that logic, but after many a long conversation with single…

View original post 777 more words

Tagged

Zombies

Zombies

Karli and Matt, My Zombies. They were so kind to let me do their make up for the wild UVU dance. I had to pull my zombie wound skills out of the 8th grade mental filling cabinet. See I waited until the day I could sign up for drama class but you had to be in eighth grade.  Oh, I signed up and every day of that class fascinated me. The day we made wounds might have been the best. 13 years later, who would think I’d be mixing up petroleum jelly,  cornstarch, and foundation to make a skin like surface I could add red food coloring to that same mixture to make a bloody mess? Well I never thought. Thank Mrs. D  for the random knowledge that allows two freshman get their zombie freak on.

Now it is your turn: (You are going to love this!)

Tagged

Mustaches are cool.

I am throwing a crazy Mustache-Zucchini-Party and I have great ideas now.   Thanks to Pinterest.

I know random combo but hey I love me some random. My parent’s garden grew plenty of zucchinis this year.  They sent a bunch with me along with an awesome recipe for chocolate zucchini cake.

I know you might be thinking no way gross. But it is AWESOME! I tried it and it is really good.  There are other recipes out there for zucchini dishes so it would be a great way to use up some of these zuks. As for the ‘staches?  I am not sure where they fit in  other than every party is more  fun when you are wearing a fake mustache.

Tagged