Yesterday, Monday 28 of May 2012 was Memorial Day. My little sister and I rode our bikes out to the little cemetery. It was a short ride that seemed to take me back to my childhood. We talked a long the road. On our ride home, Karli saw a cemetery off the side of the freeway and she said “Who is having a party?” she answered her own question saying,”Opp, not a party a cemetery.” Along our bike ride we said we were headed to the party. We arrived and went straight to the third row more than half way in. We got off our bikes and stared.
We are suppose to miss them.
My dad and step mom showed up with little Suki. We spent our time, mainly in silence. We spoke a bit.
I noticed that a young family showed up. I watched them out the corner of my eye. Karli and I walked around a bit as my dad and step mom went and spoke with the young family.
Eventually, we wandered over and I was a stunned by the question poses to me. The father of this young family asked, “Let me ask about a simple question, how do we get through these things?” I laughed and said, “Simple answer, oh wait there isn’t one.” My dad went off profoundly. He is the best when it comes to these these types of conversations. I told the father of this little family that as he needs to talk to someone reach out to my dad and he would help him. He said he already had and that my Dad had helped him through so much. “It is those who have been through similar who have helped us so much.”
Turning to me, Karli, and LaRea, again, he asked, “What would you say though, does it get better with time or does it always hurt?” We all paused LaRea said, “Both.” It is so true.
I spoke up. “We are suppose to miss them.”
We have lost and we are suppose to miss them. We are suppose to be sad. We are always going to wonder what if. We are suppose to think about the things we would have done with them. We are suppose to wish they were here. We are suppose to look on their short life and think it wasn’t long enough. We are suppose to miss them. In missing the ones we have lost, we appreciate those who are with us. We appreciate the memories we have. We gain experience. We gain a greater perspective and understanding. Yes, we loose some understanding and come up with more questions. Our reactions, are what defines us.
We are suppose to miss them. I don’t know much but this I do.
daydreamcatcher 