We are Done. Breaking up with Dating Apps.

Here is my resignation that some poor sucker who just received after asking me to spoon 18 hour ago:

Is this how dating is and I just need to accept that this is how dating is? Your tactics are weak. Your confidence is bold because you are texting messages to a stranger in a phone. It isn’t just you it is all men. I apologize that I am only sending this to you right now because, You seem like a nice guy and it is more than just you with this viewpoint. But seriously if I look over our conversation, why should I say yes to that? At least you are only asking to spoon, but why?! Why would I jump for joy that a guy wants to press his body against mine after 18 poorly exchanged messages over 7 months? I think I am officially done with app dating. This is a joke. I am sending in my resignation to you, a poor in expecting victim who just happens to be trying to move forward in dating, put himself out there with poor tactics and is receiving the back lash of some girl’s years of frustration with the way dating has become. Reevaluate your tactics. Seriously, best of luck out there. Hope you find what you’re looking for and you probably will.

I have been dating for almost 16 years now and let’s just face the facts it sucks. I have had what I thought to be an undwindling optimism and never ending hope. Blah blah blah… I still have that but not for app dating we are through. I am breaking up with app dating. 
In the future when people ask me about being single and they ask if I have tried an certain app or another my response will be yes and it is the worst.
I think I will split this post into segments and demonstrate how it is the worst. I might have some guest authors and ask them to share their experiences. (Reach out to me if you’d like to participate. Females and males welcome. Sucky dating isn’t one sexs fault.) Also, I will edit out the yoo-hoo’s face and name and share the screen shots of this exact experience and several others. Stay tuned in to see if I get a “bitter woman” or a stream of profanities response. Until next post, good day.

52 Things My Dad Taught Me in 52 Minutes

I am pretty sure he thought we were just talking. It is Thursday night after all. We have let too many Thursdays pass. Don’t let your Thursdays pass.

1. He taught me about about humility because none of what follows came out as bragging, boasting, or overly confident.

2. I learned the importance of kind words. I learned it through his kind words.

3. I heard respect in his voice, with the way he spoke to me, and through the way he spoke of others.

4. Service, “When you share with others you are blessed with things to share.” It was a motto while I was growing up but more than that it is a way of life for that man.

5. The importance of hard work. It just makes you feel better when you are doing something. Yes, it might be silly to do something just to cross something off your list. And maybe T, you just aren’t one of those task oriented folks that lives to accomplish the next task but enjoy the feeling of accomplishment.

6. Eat healthy. (You feel better when you do.)

7. Ambiance, your surroundings affect you mood.

8. What is the use of going out to eat with people you care about, if you can’t carry on a conversation in the noise restaurant?

9. If you don’t like where you are move.

10. On the other hand, if you do like where you are and things are going great, why change?

11. Moving isn’t always progression.

12. Family. (They are seriously the most important.) With story after story, I heard about the important people in his life who are the important people in my life. The examples and role models he spoke about are my grandparents, great grandparents, siblings, step-siblings, uncles, aunts, my mom, and my step-mom. Seriously, how can I be so blessed with great people in my life?

13. Return to your roots.

14. Follow the legacy of you those who came before you.

15. Record their stories.

16. Share their stories.

17. Care about their stories.

18. They are more a part of your life and who you are than you could ever know.

19. It is okay to miss them.

20. Talk about them.

21. Gather memories.

22. Reach out to the family you can.

23. T, you are lucky to have came from such a rich heritage.

24. The importance of timing.

25. Everything happens for a reason. You might think it is fate or coincidence but really you are where you are right now for some reason. What are you going to do about it? Why are you there?

26. Something that one person might be going through might be a big deal to that person, just because it isn’t a big deal for you.

27. Don’t judge.

28. Your  problems are smaller than they seem right now.

29. Take time to enjoy the good moments.

30. Reach out.

31. You might be smart, competent, and capable but that doesn’t mean you always should.

32. Follow your dreams, and share your dreams.

33. Sometimes the thing you are most worried about not being able to accomplish is the thing that is holding you back for a reason.

34. Figure out what things mean.

35. Protect the people you love.

36. Be prepared.

37. To truly care about someone you ask about that someone, learn the important little details of their life and then ask about that.

38. Garden.

39. Full filling civic duties will lead to a full life.

40. Find the value in the individual.

44. Find hobbies that make you happy, and keep up on them.

45. History is important. Learn about it. Engage yourself in it.

46. Inspire others to serve.

47. Look to the future. Plan thing out in the future. Look forward.

48. Friendship is key. Make sure they know they important roll they are in your life.

49. Laugh.

50. Cry, when it is needed.

51. Tell people you love them.

52. Show them, you love them.

Like I said, I am pretty sure he thought we were just talking. It is Thursday night after all. We have let too many Thursdays pass. Don’t let your Thursdays pass.

The Mommy Diaries

The Mommy Diaries; to all you moms out there write them. When I was a baby my mom wrote to me, in her dairy. She described how she felt, what she was excited for and what was happening. Seriously, priceless!

The Mommy Dairies

8 years ago….

I loaded up two suit cases. I went to the airport. I met up with a group of people and boarded a plane to China. My family cried when they said goodbye. I am sure I did too. I had really never left, a junior college 40 minutes from my house is nothing in comparison to Asia. I was headed off with three roommates from college. One of whom had convinced me in the first place, to go to the interview. The children’s faces in the photos convinced me this was a great idea.

I remember L.A. We held on to our bags like nervous traveling Americans. We found our gate. Our layover was long. Our head teacher took some motion sickness pills, knowing the long flight that was a head. We left our bags with the sleepy version of him. We were antsy and wandered. McDonald’s was the meal I chose as my last meal in the United State, I am a fool. I sat down with two of the new people, I was headed out with. I remember her pink hoodie and question whether they were dating; they seemed like they knew each other well. I learn they too, had just met. The hilarious ginger, had made the right food choice with a large plate of Mexican food in front of him. ( Actually,  as I am typing this I question everything I believe and have believed in the past eight years, HELLO WORLD!!!  A large plate of Mexican food right before a 15 hour flight to China? How could I ever have thought that was a good idea?)  Sure, we never ate Mexican food in China, minus the chicken tacos we made in from the box my mom sent, but still I just can fathom eating that before take off.

Anyways, nothing will match the feeling of that day. I was excited, nervous, and happy. No matter what I’ll never be who I was before I left for China again. I’ll never be that confidant, innocent, wide eyed girl headed out to see the world. China changed me. And I am glad I it did, I am glad I let it. Forever more I would be that confidant, innocent wide eye girl who hungers to see the world.

Seriously, this is only in here because it was our trip from the airport to or new apartments. Check out some of the differing faces, I think they express some of the differing emotions in this moment.

This just because. We were a team. (Negative one team mate but still a team.) A team who loved taking photos and a team who didn’t mind wearing track suits with restricting elastic on the ankle and wrist cuffs, as long as it was for unity of our team.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QW6Nk6Dpu6g

Secret Crush

My dear friend is responsible for this crazy video and I LOVE it!!! If any thing deserves to go viral online I think this does. He is the original hipster. He was hip before it was cool. I love it because it is so him and that makes me happy.

Anyways this song goes out to that special Secret Crush of mine. I might not even know who you are but I like this song.

Mrs. Clauses and Her Elves

Here is a little video clip from the holidays in my home town. Neighbor gifts are important and Mrs. Clauses and her elves worked hard this year.

A Mormon Single Girl’s Guide to Surviving the Holidays

I know, I know, the holidays are over. But here is the truth, they just happened and I survived them. I should save this post and post it for next season. Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is wonderful; being 28 and single can be awkward.  Here is my favorite way it is explained:

“The situation of a Church member who is single can be illustrated by a simple analogy. Imagine that your favorite hobby is stargazing and you’ve just joined a stargazing club. You come to your first club activity eager to participate. It’s a cold night, but you’re not concerned: most of the club members are wearing club jackets, and you’ve been told you should be able to get one as well. But there is no jacket for you. You ask about it, and you are told to keep looking and that if you do your best, you will find a jacket when the time is right.

Meanwhile, you are getting pretty cold and a little worried. And you notice that most of the other club members are talking about how nice and warm their jackets are. In fact, throughout the evening the topic surfaces continually in various forms: how to wash and dry your jacket, how to add extra pockets, how to mend it, and so forth. Some of the club members notice you don’t have a jacket. “You really need a jacket for these activities,” they tell you. “Why don’t you have one yet?”” Source

I feel like the holiday season is times were I am asked about “my jacket” the most. So here are a few ways I deal with it:

1. Travel in packs

Whenever possible bring other single friends along to those company parties or a friendly get together.  Show those “Marrieds” that there are others like you out there and it isn’t that strange.

2. Practice what to say

If you have a sassy comeback ready when someone ask you why you are still single you’ll be ready. 2012 Season favorite: “How many superheroes do you know who are married?”

3. Don’t hire out a love interest

Life isn’t a Hallmark Christmas movie, don’t fake or lie, own your singledom.

4. Try to understand

For some odd reason people feel really comfortable talking about the weather and pointing out people’s marital status. If it isn’t comfortable for you to talk about, veer the conversation elsewhere.

5. When all else fails, asks for advice and tune it out

I pull this one out only when I am most irritated by the “Marrieds” blatantly offensive comments. I simply ask what do you think I should be doing different. Usually response starts with “Flirt……” and ends with who knows what, I tuned them out remember. (Okay, truth be told I usually do listen and try to apply what they say because as irritated as I am, you never know what you are going to learn.)

And lastly,  number six comes from a personal rule…..as long as your single never say no to a blind date. Blind dates always make for an interesting  story whether it is at your 50th wedding anniversary or as you relate the tale back to friends about the epic fail, blind dates make for an interesting life.

source

Caution: If you click on this source you could be lost for hours laughing and lusting like I was. I love Ryan, remember this post? I swear there was a “Hey girl, Looking for your jacket?” And I wanted to post that one but this one works too. I just kept looking couldn’t find it anywhere, but I didn’t mind searching.

Called In.

It was just one of those days. I couldn’t go in to work feeling like this. So I had myself a sick day, aka a sleep day. I felt like I was cemented to my bed. Or in Karli’s words “Smooshed to the bed all day”. I probably shouldn’t blog on my sick day, if you are well enough to blog aren’t you well enough to work? No, no not at all. Blogging is quite a challenge at this point, like everything else but I have to try something new because I started to dream that I had gone to Russia to see Justin Bieber in concert. I have been shopping online for things I don’t ever need, vases from Indonesia and this throw:

   Throws, they are like baby blankets for adults. That is not practical, it isn’t like we are going to carry them around everywhere with us. We are going to throw them over something else to hide a small portion of that object, like a chair or a bed. Yes, yes we are and that place will become a place of comfort, a welcoming area of rest. Maybe  I do need a throw.

I also am chatting with old friends online and it has been long enough that there is too much to say and maybe not long enough to create enough to say. In our words and we avoid our lack of staying in contact and express our gratitude for each other in the past. All of which reminds me to be a better friend.

I watched this and thought of another friend who needs to remember that These times will pass.

I feel like I go hit with that train in Russia, what train? The one I blogged about years ago. Those were pretty cool words that accompanied that sick photo. I so dislike being sick.

I pinned this:

 and even on this day in which I called in and did a whole lot of nothing, I look back over my blog post and I find I did find those extraordinary things, those hidden treasures.

Nature’s Astonishing Power

I got told that I am:

“A supportive and nurturing friend, open to sharing ideas and collaborating with others instinctive, wise and full of inherent knowledge determined to succeed in your goals able to handle the toughest situations with grace.”

Friends and Family:

“You’re a solid and steady rock, who’s supportive of friends and family. This is a great quality, but you’re also mindful that there is strength in vulnerability.”

In Nature:

“You recognize nature’s astonishing power, but that’s the reason you like to challenge it. You get a thrill out of conquering things, like climbing to the top of a mountain.”
    

..uh thank you for a truly accurate description of myself, shampoo website. That was odd. Anyways, on to the story in the photos.

Once upon a time, there was this girl who didn’t know what to do with her life and she was scared. She had kind and wise dad. This girl also had a step mother, don’t all fairy tales include one? Well this fairy tale does. Was she a wicked step mother, no. She was a soft spoken, sweet, adventurous step mother. (A step-mother who wrote a darling blog about her daring adventures.)

Anyways the daughter, was in one of those dark places in life. The kind that only stepping into the darkness with faith could bring her closer to the light. She was unable to recognize this. Her parents could though, they also say she needed some adventure.

This brave beauty lived for adventure but had somehow forgotten the rush she  gained from accomplishing things. She had in the past created a list of goals and spoke of them frequently. One of the goals was so close yet so far way. It was right out her door. Her goal was simple, to climb to the top of the nearest peak, to climb Mt. Musinia.

Her parents told her that the fifth day in September would be the day she would climb the peak and they would go to. Together they stepped out for the adventure that would change their lives forever.

During the hike the wise father stated that this hike was similar to the young woman’s life. The comparison was made in the fact that things were difficult and most likely going to get more difficult before it got better but then when she was just about to give up there would be hope and the grand feeling of accomplishment. Through nature’s astonishing power she felt the connection between his words, the adventure, and her life. He was right. Don’t give up. HOPE.

Re-blogging

I have been re-blogging, my fingers off. I just keep reading these amazing blogs and thinking “I want to share that.” Some I did, while others I didn’t. Some are humors, some are inspiring, some are informative and some just are. My favorite have been really honest blogs, as of late.  You know the type where the author opens up and you glimpse into their life; for a moment you feel almost what it is like for them, just because of their words. I feel like it is a great time to share. Perhaps, I am relating to these blogs because I myself just need some therapeutic writing. I m not sure that you are going to get a load of that this evening but you will get a smidgen. (Smidgen, funny word.) I told my sister that I traded in my life for a pair of khaki pants and a red polo shirt. She went off and I just typed what she boldly told me. She love the words she stated, as I read them back she realized she is wise and clever. ( I’ll blog them later.) But my favorite part was a second thought she left me with at the end of her charming speech. “I didn’t say you could be unsure of it.” (It=Referring to the recent change in my life.) She is right. I am meant to be unsure, learn, and build confidence in the path I picked. I trust in the Lord’s hand to guide me as I make decisions and listen to the spirit.

Reminds me of the film the Restoration, it just seemed fitting for today’s blog.